Okay this close to the season and we still have major, er mid-major, moves regarding conference expansion.  So BYU started to teeter and now the WAC blew up.  Further out west there are questions of Pac 10 allegiance.  Please, will the powers that be put all of this on lockdown so we can focus on actually playing football instead of this crap.  The season is about 2 weeks away!  We’re not sure they’re listening so in the meantime, everyone else clue them into this week’s Crib Sheet:

• You know, we liked Missouri’s handshake better.  Better than ‘Get Money!” That’s what they are using to denote big plays now.  That sounds like something you say on a game show.  Better yet, why not say, “No Whammies! No Whammies! No Whammies! Stop!”
• Bo Pelini is banning reporters from practice so they can’t compile injury reports.  Nebraska’s already had some season ending injuries on the team so far so it makes sense that Pelini want to keeps things quiet for a couple of days.  Well, quiet enough that everyone can hear him chew gum with his mouth open.
• Out of nowhere, BYU begins to mull leaving the Moutain West Conference.  Their reason points to being left at the alter when the Pac 10 came calling.  They believe they can go the Notre Dame route and go independent for football and do the WAC for other sports.  The Mountain West does not like this and has already invited both Nevada and Fresno State to join.  Reports are showing that they both accepted, too.
• Looks like Colorado will play Ohio State in 2011, and for a hefty sum of $1.4 million.
• Meanwhile, a former UCLA chancellor is petitioning Pac 10 officials to stop Colorado and Utah from coming into the conference.  It seems some sort of tradition is still kicking out west.  We know now that Colorado won’t be in the Pac 10 until 2012 so they have some time on them.
• That little news bit makes this next one more sensible.  8 Big 12 athletic directors met (including Colorado) to discuss licensing with Learfield sports as well as the potential to create  a television network.  Texas was not there, of course, but Colorado being there seems a little weird.
• It looks like an Oklahoma themed license plate for Texas is creating a lot of commotion in the Lone Star State.  On one hand it’s for a team not even in the state, on the other there are plenty of Oklahomans that live in the state.  If Texas does it, they should make some bank off of it.
• In starting quarterback news, Kale Pick is your starter for the Kansas Jayhawks.  Tyler Hanson is your starter for Colorado.  Looks like Dan Hawkins finally benched his kid Cody, even though he is a team captain this year.  Taylor Potts mans the helm for Texas Tech’s opening game.
• New Kansas State Wildcat Bryce Brown answered some questions from the NCAA about his time at Tennessee and former head coach Lane Kiffin.  What he said?  We don’t know.  We just hope that he doesn’t flake out like he did for the Volunteers.
• Texas and BYU will play a home and home in 2013 and 2014.  It likes the bulk is continuing for the Longhorns while BYU looks to follow in the quasi-independent step.
• From the dumb scholar department, Oklahoma kicker Matt Moreland will miss the rest of the season due to academic issues.  Come on, Matt!  You’re a kicker, you can study just a little bit harder.
• Looks like the FBI and J. Edgar Hoover spied on Paul “Bear” Bryant and his civil rights fenagling in the late 1960’s through the 70’s.  It’s creepy to think the FBI had a file on that guy.  Of course, today the FBI probably has a file on everyone.
• The injury bugs are biting everyone.  Nebraska’s Dreu Young had back surgery and is more than likely out for the season.  Kansas Jayhawk Rell Lewis is out for the year due to a bum knee.
• Police ticker time.  Missouri backup linebacker Wil Ebner got a DWI. Yet, he’s back on the practice field.  Oregon State offensive lineman Tyler Patrick was kicked of the team after he was arrested for trespassing while being naked and drunk.  Yeah that’s a way to go out.
• Even though the college football industry is a multi billion dollar one, only 14 schools were profitable last year.  Big 12 wise the obvious one, Texas, was there but Missouri ended up  being a surprise.  No wonder the Tigers yell, ‘Get Money!’ now.
• Bessemer, Alabama mayoral candidate Dorothy Davidson photoshopped herself into a Nick Saban photo for a flyer and got busted for it.  Hey, politicians lie all the time and it’s terrible, but this is pretty funny because it is so damn obvious.