Alrighty, I’m about halfway through my scotch and water, I blasted out another Crib Sheet, and I’m jacked up for some football tomorrow night. It’s prediction time! The offseason sucked. Period. Being in Big 12 land was not easy on this college football lovin’ Yeti and especially not easy on Kansas City. We weathered the storm and now we are here ready for some pigskin play. What will we see in this year’s volume of football? Let’s take a look in our crystal ball shaped glass full of scotch and water.
- Mike Leach will lose his CBS announcing job for making Gus Johnson stand in the bathroom with no light.
- Mark Ingram will not be a finalist for the Heisman Trophy, thanks to the fresh knee injury.
- The Oregon Ducks will win the Pac 10, both for best dressed and actual gold.
- Colorado loses a bunch of games and Dan Hawkins stays on because the school is too broke to fire him out of his contract.
- Caoch Brian Kelly will talk NBC into going into commerical breaks for opposing teams’ offensive drives only. Oh and the Fighting Irish will make a bowl.
- Missouri will win the North, only because Nebraska’s ego and farewell tour will fall flat.
- Daniel Thomas will be a Heisman finalist, thanks to a solid offensive line and the fact that he will get his yards with the whole defense keying on him. Thanks, Carson Coffman.
- Boise State will go undefeated and not make the dance. People are saying its the weak schedule, but it will be because of an undefeated team in the Big 10 and one other conference. Look for Orrin Hatch to have an aneurism over this one.
- This will be Lee Corso’s last season for ESPN College GameDay. It’s been a hell of a ride, Lee, just please don’t put on the Grim Reaper’s head when it’s your time to go.
- This will be the fastest season ever for the Kansas Jayhawks. By fast, we mean the fans will be ready for basketball season about 2 games in. Turner Gill’s rebuilding starts this year, he’s got at least 3 before some magic happens.
- Iowa State will be in the bottom of the league again, but they will get an upset some big team because of a massive rain storm. Hey their practice field flooded over the summer, they should be ready.
- Texas just missed the mark in the Big 12 South. Not because of the competition, but for the cliffhanger they want to leave for next season’s Longhorns Network debut. Stay Tuned! Same horn time! Same horn channel!
- Big Game Bob goes to a BCS game but will not be game as the Sooners bob and weave from some other big team beaming game time bashings. Probably against Virginia Tech and Frank BEAMER.
- The Big East has a seasson. No one really cares.
- RichRod makes a valiant effort and gets the Wolverines into a bowl game. It will be the weakest one from the Big 10 and it will be enough to get him fired. He will then go on and make real estate deals with everyone in the Ann Arbor region.
- USC doesn’t get close to a Pac 10 championship and Lane Kiffin leaves after just one season. The Kiffin world tour moves on!
- Florida misses Tim Tebow and will miss being in the running for the SEC. Urban Meyer gets sick and dies from the piss poor play on the field.
- Kansas City sports bars will stay the same this year. No one will get 3D TVs because the mixture of 3D and beer will make everyone puke. Some new bars will crop up and the KCCGD crew will eventually puke in those anyway.
- We’re going back to our 2008 prediction about Joe Paterno dieing on the field. Now that Bobby Bowden is out, this one should get much easier. Or will he be in the booth this year?
- Okay, we called the BCS National Championship game two years ago with Florida and Oklahoma, we were halfway right with Texas last year in the big game. What will happen this year? Well, the trend says we will get it all wrong so there’s nothing to lose. I’m thinking the offseason hype for the Big 10 will lead a team to a title contention. Since the only team that’s worth a damn up there is Ohio State, then that’s our pick. Chances are the SEC will be mega tough again this year and barring any late push by an Oregon or a Big 12 team, we are going the easy route and picking SEC. Whose turn is it? Let’s go LSU. Why not. Can you say 2007 rematch?
It’s almost July and it’s time to start getting serious about football. For the last couple of months we’ve been going back and forth on conference expansion and raiding. Now that it’s all over (hopefully), we can start getting juiced up for the major competition on the field. The Crib Sheet has its cleats on so you should too. Here we go:
- The major sanctions against USC hit former running back and current New Orleans Saint Reggie Bush. Bush was reportedly in on the scandal part but now he vows to help with the appeal for USC to the NCAA. Maybe his Heisman Trophy is in trouble?
- It looks like Pac 10 went from the Pac 11, with the addition of Colorado, to the Pac 12 with the addition of Utah. Mormons invade the conference as the Mountain West Conference powerhouse moves in on the big boys. Will the Pac 12 have a title game now? Does it seem weird that both the Big 10 and Pac 10 will have title games and now the Big 12 will not? Meanwhile the Mountain West will stay at 9.
- The Big East Commissioner sent 20 roses (10 white and 10 red) with ‘Unity’ written on the card to the Big 12 (10) offices. It seems the Big East and the ACC should be thankful that the Big 12 didn’t blow up and ruined college football.
- The Big 12 (10) may not be enough for Jerry Jones. He wants them to go after Notre Dame and Arkansas. Okay Jerry, calm down a sec and let’s get the current group figure out first. By the way, Arkansas shot down any expansion talk.
- Apparently Big Game Bob still wants to roll with the west coast even after all of this expansion dancing. Maybe it’s the fire of competition in his belly. Maybe it’s what coaches are supposed to say.
- Andy Staples talked about the BCS and how it’s super solid for now, even though people are still complaining. One side you have the director, Bill Hancock, and on the other you have Texas Rep. Joe Barton and Utah Senator Orrin Hatch. Yeah, so Utah goes to the Pac 10 and Hatch still wants to take down the BCS. If Utah ends up undefeated again, will he be so loud?
- Mizzou Chancellor Brady Deaton is your new chairman of the Big 12 Board of Directors. This might be part of the maneuvering to keep Mizzou in the Big 12 (10). It also seems kind of flimsy.
- Bill Snyder 2.0 weighs in on the expansion movements and laments the fact that a Big 12 (10) may not have a title game. His solution? Two 5 team divisions and a title game. It makes sense for a small school like K-State to go for that but we don’t think this will happen just yet. It could bring in more money, however.
- Colorado is in some financial hot water right now and leaving the Big 12 (10) will put them in a deeper hole. Will they ever crawl out of it? First they need to win and second they need to ride out the changes over the next couple of years. With Dan Hawkins as the coach, the Buffalo fans out there might have to wait a good 10 years before that program makes money and wins championships.
Hey, I trucked down to SXSW here in Longhorn Country and Austin, Texas. So who would’ve thunk that we would actually be diligent enough to post another Crib Sheet? Well, we did. Here’s this week’s shortened Crib Sheet:
Signing Day is upon us! Today is the day of the year when high school kids across the country pick their football mates and spurn others. The ritual goes on for years, sometimes, and the final chapter only begets a new book in life. So congratulations to all the kids across the USA who not only get to play big time football, but also get a big time scholarship. Maybe they can become meterologist or study something failry easy like communications. Here’s our communications thesis, the Crib Sheet:
- A new award for the most versatile college football player was announced last week. It’s the Paul Hornung Award, named after the former all around guy and Notre Damer. We doubt any lineman will be getting this one.
- Due to the open records act for state of Texas and Texas Tech University, we now find that Craig James threatened to sue Texas Tech if Mike Leach’s actions taken for his son Adam were not investigated. So now it is confirmed that Craig James was trying to pull some weight around there. On the other hand, it is his kid and he was worried about his kids health. Any father would want to protect his kid from injury. The problem here is the action taken was just sending him away from the team. Nothing physical. Nothing really mentally debilitating. Fathers take note: don’t be a douche like Craig James.
- We now know that Turner Gill will be making about $2 million per year from his contract, gathered from the release of they detail of his contract. He’ll have a tall order to rebuild (already) a busted up Kansas team. Hey, if he can do it he deserves and then some.
- Speaking of Kansas, the Gridiron Club plans appear to be dead in the water. The initial project fulfills the need to stack some rich people high up in new luxury suites and toss free food and drink down their throat. Too bad the team tanked this year, as if they had actually been competitive, they might have had a shot of following through on this thing.
- In what looks like to be a ploy to somehow win back some people, the Justice Department responded back to Senator Orrin Hatch’s request to investigate the legality of the BCS system in college football. The Obama administration wrote in a memo detailing options on what it could do to help resolve the issue if it so inclined to get involved. We’re not sure if the administration is placating Hatch or not, but one thing is for sure, if they spend too much time on this issue it will backfire for them.
- The much ballyhooed Senior Bowl came and went. Nothing happened. Okay, well, Tim Tebow played really bad and we’ll see him running the ball or holding the clipboard next year in the NFL. LeGarrette Blount ran for a touchdown so his draft stock went up. Outside of that, just another football game. Hey, at least those kids were trying versus the big boys in the Pro Bowl.
- The recruiting trail is heating up and there’s one big commitment that new Kansas coach Turner Gill just landed. Brandon Bourbon was going to go to Stanford, but Gill influenced the four star recruit to become a Jayhawk. This was much needed for Gill as he lost a couple of four star guys when Mark Mangino got fired. We wonder what type of whiskey Brandon drinks.
- ESPN blogger Tim Griffith points to an article breaking down hometowns of the nation’s football recruits. While he finds most of the kids that play in the Big 12 come from Texas, the more surprising stat is that Kansas City is number 3. Way to go, local kids, now stay in the local area schools.
Another week of the Crib Sheet and we are finally starting to see things calm down around the college football landscape. There’s still some action here and there but we envision the news will be trickling out here in there for the offseason. There’s still some loose ends that need to be tied up and we will stay there to make sure the granny knot is tight. So keep in step with this week’s Crib Sheet:
Happy Holidays everybody from the KC College Gameday Crew! It’s been a couple of years now of doing this blog and we’ve learned alot along the way. We also are very thankful for all 12 of you that actually read this internet football rag. It’s not a perfect blog and we strive hard everyday just to make it a little bit better. We wished it could be perfect, but sometimes great things come from imperfections. Much along those same lines, we have Christmas wishes we want to share with you this holiday season:
We have a full plate here this week on the Crib Sheet so in the interest of avoiding any more food references we stuffed into the last couple of posts, here’s this week’s Crib Sheet:
- Steve Spurrier, South Carolina head coach, complained about tape on the field after their shilacking they took from Alabama last week. So Alabama head coach Nick Saban says they won’t do it again. The kickers were using to place kicks and now the need some other guide to help the ball find the way. Southeastern Conference: Home of the Ticky Tacky Whining.
- Orrin Hatch is poking an prodding his trident in the direction of the Justice Department and President Obama, trying to get a probe of the BCS system again. Hey, it’s an easy target in Utah and we hope he gets relected for all of this posturing and grand standing. Once again, this shows that people from Utah suck.
- The officiating crew from last week’s Florida and Arkansas game were suspended due to a blown personal foul call against an Arkansas player. When you are Florida and on top, the calls will go your way. Southeastern Conference: Home of Protecting the Frontrunners.
- While LeBron James is busy kicking out professional football players, he’s also giving advice to Ohio State quarterback Terrelle Pryor. James says he’s trying to help Pryor handle being a super star athelete. What? You have to win games, and more importantly championships, to be a super star. Right now Pryor is the head guy for a lame-o offense. An offense that just got upset by Purdue.
- When Texas Tech loses bad, count on Mike Leech to say something witty about it. This time, it was something about fat girlfriends. We love him even though his team usually rolls Big 12 North teams.
- The Dallas Fort Worth airport and American Airlines are now doing direct flights to Manhattan, Kansas. What does that mean? Recruiting trips for Kansas State will be less of convenience. The Wildcats had to cut costs for private flights which meant planes going to Topeka or Kansas City held recruits. Will this help? Who knows.
- Goldy Gopher got the slap down for mocking prayer at the beginning of a game last week. I can see that happening if they played Notre Dame or Boston College, but doing it before a Penn State game is a little ridiculous. His punishment? 10 Hail Marys and a bad football team.
- Bob Griese will have to sit a game for making a taco joke on a latino NASCAR driver. Was it because it was racially insensitive or because it was a really bad joke? Griese did get his education at Michigan, you know.
- Speaking of Michigan, there’s a letter of inquiry from the NCAA about the whole practicing too long trouble some players kicked up a month ago. How could the Wolverines be practicing too hard? They’re terrible. Maybe if they were undefeated but they stink too much to be practicing too long. If anything, they are not practicing enough.
- Much to no one’s surprise, Sam Bradford will have a season ending shoulder surgery and then enter the NFL draft. It seemed a little awkward when Bradford left the Texas game a couple of weeks ago. The hit wasn’t as massive as the first injury. Right then I think we all knew Bradford wasn’t gonna chance it. So will he do well in the NFL? Tune in and find out if we ever kick up a KC GameDay blog.
- Iowa Governor Chet Culver goofed up and congratulated only Iowa in a historic win over the weekend. Yes, the Hawkeyes are 8-0 for the first time in forever, but it seems he forgot the Iowa State win over Nebraska in Nebraska for the first time since 1977. If the Cyclones make a bowl, this guy will be elected out of the office.
- John William Lomax III will be charged in the murder of UConn football Jasper Howard. He went to the party but his lawyer says he has nothing to do with it. We’ll find out in court just what happened.
- The NCAA ruled that Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Bryant will be suspended for the rest of the season. He lied to the NCAA when they went sniffing around a visit he had with Deion Sanders. This seems a little harsh. With other players punching people and coming back, you’d figure they would let him come back and play. To bad for the Cowpokes as they could use him against Texas this weekend.